Monday, April 9, 2012


Well, I am definitely emotionally and physically tired.  I lost a very important person in my life- my Grandpa Bill.  Just last Sunday on April 1st my dad, Clint, and I visited with him.  We all laughed and joked around like normal.  Overall, a very good visit.  The next day was Clint and I's one year wedding anniversary.  After I got home from work, I was getting ready to go out for dinner when my dad called.  He told me Grandpa was not doing very well, and the nurses could not get him to wake up.  I thought, "Really?!?" He was just fine the day before!!  The hospice nurses said this was the beginning of the end.  I did not want to hear this.  I cried and cried knowing my time was limited with Grandpa.  Luckily, I was already scheduled to be off work the next day.  I got to the nursing home about noon, and I spent 12 hrs there that day.  I talked to him, told him how much I loved him, held his hand, and let him know that it was okay to go.  I knew he had been suffering, and was in pain.  Those who know my grandpa understand that he did not like being cooped up in the nursing home.  He was such a social butterfly, and loved to be outside.  So late Tuesday night I finally ventured back to Evansville.  It was wayyy past this preggo's bedtime, but I had a hard time leaving him.  On the morning of Wednesday April 4th, Grandpa took his last breath.  He waited till no family was in the room with him.  My heart broke.  I did not want to accept the fact that he was gone.  I took the rest of the week off from work- which thank you to my co workers for understanding!  The rest of the week seemed like a blur getting ready for the funeral.  I had a tote of Grandpa's photos and keepsakes, so I put together a photo board for the funeral home.  Above is one of the many pictures of him and his horses. 
Friday was the big day.  I wore my black cowboy boots with my dress pants just for Grandpa :)  The Odon Flower Shop did an amazing job at decorating his casket with his boots, cowboy hat, and belt.  My dad bought a can of Skoal, and Grandpa was buried with it in his hands :)  I loved his casket- he had picked out a plain pine, western looking one that totally suited him.  The viewing was family only, but the graveside services was public.  I was so pleased with the turn out of his friends and family at the cemetery.  I wrote a speech for Grandpa's funeral, which I will say was very hard giving, but Clint told me I did good and did not talk too fast. I also found a poem that was perfect for Grandpa.  I am still having a hard time accepting he is gone.  He and I were very close, and I am sure going to miss him.  However, I know he is pain-free and is reunited with loved ones and friends.  So to those around me, please bear with me. I know with time it will get better, but right now I am still hurting.

The rest of the weekend was busy, busy!  We had Easter with my family and with Clint's.  Clint and I were and are still very tired from the past week.  I have never felt so emotionally and physically drained in my life.  Today I had my glucose test at the doctor.  I actually thought the drink tasted good! Lol.  However, it did not set very well with my belly.  I was on Hwy 41 heading to my appointment, and all of a sudden I broke out in a terrible sweat, and I seriously thought I was going to pass out.  Then I thought I was going to vomit.  Very scary, and I had no where to pull off to on the road.  I turned the A/C on max trying to cool myself down, and calm the dizziness.  Luckily, the feeling eased up, and I made it to the dr.'s office.  I told my doctor about it, and she said most likely that means my sugar is low, which means I will pass the glucose test.  I will not have the results for a couple of days.  She was pleased with how I was doing- said I was on track with weight gain, and little man was doing good.  He had a strong heartbeat of 151 today.  And this week I am officially in the 3rd trimester- woo hoo! Speaking of my little fella, it is VERY hard naming your child!  We want to have different ideas for when we meet him, but darn it is soooo hard coming up with names that we both agree on! So he still is just Baby Ramsey for now.  His room is empty, and is ready to be painted and be filled with his baby furniture.  So exciting!!

Well it is 7:30pm and we are heading to bed.  I hope I can get sleep tonight.  I have not had a good night's rest in a week.  Oh and if you can, say a little prayer for my good friend Tiffanie.  Nothing serious, just keep her in your prayers! :)

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